Before we were given our “free time” at the cucumber festival our tour guide insisted on telling us all about Suzdal’s Museum of Wooden Architecture.

Any other day I would have been much more interested in hearing about how the umbilical cords of baby boys used to be cut with a knife, while girls’ were cut with scissors (because boys did manly things like hunt and kill things and girls sewed), but not when the cucumber festival was waiting!

Finally we were allowed to explore the festival. Our long winded tour guide gave us a whopping 45 minutes of free time. If she’d have cut out the umbilical cord talk we might have had a full hour. I still was able to see most of the festival – very quickly. I wasn’t able to browse all the crafty stands like I would have liked to or even stop to eat a single cucumber! I know, I know, what a shame (not really, I don’t like cucumbers, or pickles, or younger siblings that eat pickles and then chase you around the house and breathe on you).

I did get to listen to some music.

And see people dressed up in cucumber garb. Some just accessorized with hats.

And others went all out. It really was a family affair.

There were puppet shows.

And Mr. Potato Cucumber Heads. Can you see the stuffed cucumbers next to them? Did you have any idea how versatile the cucumber was? Remember from Forrest Gump? You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it. There are cucumber-kabobs, cucumber creole, cucumber gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple cucumber, lemon cucumber, coconut cucumber, pepper cucumber, cucumber soup, cucumber stew, cucumber salad, cucumber and potatoes, cucumber burger, cucumber sandwich.

No wait, that was shrimp.

Check out this lovely quilt!! Imagine the fantastic cucumber dreams you’d have sleeping underneath it!

And at then end of the day, they made me their queen!!

Cucumbers (Cucumis sativus) are a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family. Though technically they are a fruit, cucumbers are often considered vegetables.